Verse index for Crazy Pam's Bouvier site (2024)

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This page has the links to my poetry and songs, most of which concern dogs. Some would say my verse is mostly "doggerel".

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Contents

• about dogs
• about everything else
• songs by others

My verses and lyrics can be considered as parodies of the originals to which they refer. A few of my verses are completely originally mine and these can be distinguished by their low quality. I also include some excellent poetry by well known authors.

I am starting to add music via MIDI (Musical Instrument Digital Interface) music files to those verses that are based on songs. MIDI files will play on most computers that have QuickTime (or QuickTime for Windows) installed.. If you are using Internet Explorer, you will probably have to install or activate "ActiveX" in order to play MIDI or to view movies.

• verse about dogs (listed alphabetically)



• A Bouv On My Pillow, by Morgan Collins, describing her two Bouvs as she and they awaken in the morning.
• Basenji limericks
• "Bingo's Song" (humorous song about coprophagia)
• Bite the Bad Guys, Bouvier ! (song about protection sports)
• Boatswain's monument verse. This is a longer and less well known memorial verse by Byron to his Newfoundland "Boatswain".
• Bones' Epitaph, a Cyranoesque epitaph in French and English for my perfect partner and soul-mate, Bones.
• Bouviers are Bearish (song)
• A Bouvie is a Girl's Best Friend (song) ; MIDI music track added. Verses for "Diamond", a rescued Bouvier with allergies added.
• Feeling Bouvie, , song lyrics written for SCBDFC event
• The Bouv is my Shepherd (psalm)
• The Bouvier of my Boudoir (song about my beloved Chelsea and precious Bones), with MIDI music added
• The Bouv Pretender (song about a not-quite-Bouv facing death at the Pound), with MIDI added. This song is a plea for the life of this dog
• Bouvier Requiem , a love song about euthanasia (to the tune of "Yesterday")
• The Breeder (the grief of losing a non-viable puppy), by Jay Campion.
• Ceremony for Dying , by Ursula LeGuin , ceremonial verse for euthanasia, from her story "Mountain Ways".
• Chelsea's Epitaph, for Chelsea, who was "the other half of my soul"
• The Dirty Bouvier Song (song to tune of "BattleHymn of theRepublic") ; this is one of the first songs I ever wrote about Bouviers. (It may also be the first to celebrate Bouvier flatulence.)
• The Dirty Bouvier at the Working Trial (song). alas, some of these incidents really happened to me.
• The Dogs Mourn a Rescuer , verse I wrote a few years back, has been used at a local rescue person's memorial services.
• The Dog Who Never Returned , on the fates of dogs allowed "freedom" to roam.
• Expectations, the Pythagorean Bouvier Contemplates Death , a song about reincarnation (to the tune of The Rolling Stones' "No Expectations"
• Fass Fiercely , Bouvie ! (a fight song for Schutzhund)
• Fifty Ways to Run a Dog Trial (song to tune of Simon and Garfunkel's "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"), MIDI added.
• Fox, the Wicked Queensland, a song about my adored (and wicked) Queensland Heeler bitch, Fox. I have added a MIDI karaoke file that includes a bit of added verse. (to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon"
• Gathering (a herding song)
• Grover's Elegy , written a year after his death
• Haiku on Toys , verse about dogs and stuffed toys.
• Hark, the Schutzhund Bouvie's Revier !
• The Heart asks Pleasure first, by Emily Dickenson , which speaks eloquently about end of life issues ; highly relevant to euthanasia.
• He Loves Ewes, Baa, Baa, Baa (song about herding sheep)
• He Told Me This, by T Yamamoto. a poem about herding dogs and a trainer's learning of humility.
• I Have For Company, my dogs as of March 2019
• "The House Dog's Grave" by Robinson Jeffers
• How Do I Love Thee, author unknown. about loving dogs despite their inconveniences.
• "How to Handel a TDX" (photo and verse )
• I am the Owner of a Bouvier (bragging about one's dog) MIDI added.
• I Am The Very Model of a Modern Veterinarian, a song, not to be taken seriously.
• If I were Ruler of the A.K.C. (how the AKC ought to regulate dog breeding if they really cared about "the usefulness of the purebred dog to man")
• I Found a Bouvier (a rescue / adoption song)
• Funeral Oration for Caesar, a Giant Schnauzer, cherished long-time companion to a good friend of mine.
• Little Bo Peep, some advice
• My First Bouvie, verse about Keya (Chiaroscuro), my first Bouvier.
• The New York City Rat Song (a modest suggestion for solving New York city's plague of fifty million rats)
• Oh What A Fine Tracking Morning ! (song about TDX Tracking tests)
• Old Mother Midge (nursery rhyme for dog people)
• Old Dogs ("Autumn Sun")verse about caring for an old dog in the autumn of life. author unknown
• On Her Lost Dogs, dogs loved and lost to death.
• The Loss of a Heart Dog, the spirit of a deceased much loved dog tries to console his person.
• A Pet's Farewell, in verse, what your elderly dog might say to you about your future memories of this loved friend. author unknown
• Piola's Song : the peaceful end of life , about the difficulty of making that dreaded decision .
• Poetic Justice , about who is at fault when a mistreated and neglected dog finally bites someone
• A Prayer for My Dog (hymn to a terminally ill dog)
• Princess's epitaph and prayer for the dying.
• Rebuttal to Kipling (The Power of a Dog) (poem)
• Return of the Bouvie (a Star Wars song)
• Shaggy Dog of Flanders song about the Bouvier's origens, with one verse in French. (to tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"
• Sittin' On My Porch , to tune of Take It Easy ("standing on a corner in Windslow , Arizona")
• Some Enchanted Morning (verse about puppy rearing)
• Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening (verse about a dog who won't come when called and the passerby who tries to rescue him).
• Super Decoy (song about the dangers and difficulties of being an agitator in French Ring Sport) with MIDI track and link to MP3 of "Super Skier".
• Still Miss You After All These Years (song to a beloved deceased dog)
• That's Why The Lady Is A Bitch, song to tune of "That's Why The Lady Is A Tramp". with MIDI music. this song is pretty much auto-biographical.
• There is Nothing Like a Bouv ! song about breed character
• There's Always Room for One More
• They Asked Me Could I Prove (this pound dog was a Bouv), song about challenges of breed identification at the pound. this song is not yet finished, but I don't know when I will complete it. with a MIDI track.
• "Three Ancient Bouvier Are We"
• A Verse Well Donne (canine mysteries)
• Walk With An Old Dog, verse by Gayl Jokiel, a dog lover's address to a beloved elderly dog.
• We (dog lovers) Will All Go Together When We Go (song about Total Nuclear Annihilation, based on the Tom Lehrer classic "We Will All Go Together WhenWe Go". WARNING : may offend most people's sensibilities!)
• When Earth's Last Dog Trial is Over (verse, inspired by Kipling)
• When I'm Eighty-Four (song about aging with dogs)
• When It Was Earthquake Time (song about Search and Rescue. WARNING : may offend some people's sensibilities)

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• verse about everything else



• A Genius Lot is Not an Easy One , a song
• All I Want for Christmas is My COVID Vax
• America the Once-Beautiful (song about pollution and overpopulation)
• Another Hanukka Song, my song lyrics in response to Adam Sandler's .
• The Ballad of Mac and DOS (a computer verse)
• to the Belle of Amhurst, a verse for Emily Dickenson
• Dr Robertson, a song for Dr Jyothi Vinnakota Robertson DVM, graduate of the residency program in Shelter Medicine at U C Davis. with MIDI track.
• "The Destruction of Alice Grey" , a song I wrote in 1966 about women in science.
• Everybody Must Get Masked, a song about the need for face coverings in the COVID era.
• Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover (or Husband), the women's version of the Simon & Garfunkel classic.
• Fifty Ways to Wrap a Feline, song about low stress handling veterinary techniques for cats , specifically describing the "half burrito wrap"
• "500 Miles" ("If You Missle the Plane I'm On"), song lyrics I wrote in 1963 when global thermonuclear war was a feared possibility. Perhaps relevant again in 2017
• God Only Knows (likely to offend some readers)
• The God That's Spelled Backwards (likely to offend some readers)
• The Grape Defender, a song about wine and a reference to beer as inferior to wine. This one is not to be taken seriously. It was fun to write.
• The Great Dissenter, a song for my all-time favorite Surpreme, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She has delivered many landmark dissents in the past and will probably be doing even more in the future..
• I Dreamed I Saw Ruth Ginsburg Live
• Hoofbeats and Dust, verse about lying awake remembering my long ago horse, remembering my youth.
• If John Lennon Were Alive Today, added verses for "Imagine"
• I'm Hoping for a Wet Winter, after two preceeding drought years
• my long-awaited Jeopardy Song
• Let It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain (a California Christmass song)
• Me and Julio (not at the school-yard), lyrics for a Paul Simon classic , updated for the Corona epidemic.
• On Watching Meteor Showers , inspired by the pre-dawn singing of my local coyote pack. (and by Donne).
• Poor Jobs is Dead, a heroic dirge and epitaph for Steve Jobs (2/24/1955 - 10/10/2011) and his identification with Apple and the Macintosh.
• Post-Election Songs, two song verses mourning the outcome of the 2016 election, plus image of some of the campaign buttons I made.
• Macintosh / Photoshop
• Make It Right (an inspirational song)
• Me and Julio (not at the school-yard), lyrics for a Paul Simon classic , updated for the Corona epidemic.
• For Mom, Between Worlds, written by my brother Mark as our mother was peacefully dying.
• A Narrow Fellow in the Grass, a tribute to my "house-snake" , somewhat inspired by Emily Dickenson
• On Profanity (why I hardly ever use it)
• "O Southwest Wind" , a short verse in tribute to the "Delta breeze", a much appreciated climate feature in the area south of Davis, CA.
• Overdue Baby Lullabye (song for the last weeks of pregnancy, human version). written for my private practice vet when she complained that her pregnancy seemed to be lasting way too long.
• Pegasus (song ; the fabled winged stallion as Buddy Holley would have written it)
• Peggy and Sue Got Married, an updating of a Buddy Holly classic in light of the Supreme Court's rulings on DOMA and California Prop 8.
• She'll Always Be My Nominee, a song for Hillary. written in 2008, but applied again in 2016.
• Sister Sarah Updated (updated folk song for women ) with MIDI added
• Sittin' On My Porch , to tune of Take It Easy ("standing on a corner in Windslow , Arizona")
• A Spider , Yellow, fat, and Round (inspired by one by Robert Frost and by an incident that happened to me).
• This Old Man, a song for Winston Churchill
• Tyger, Tyger short verse
• Undangling Conversation, based on Simon's Dangling Conversation and my imaginary portrait of the home life of a couple I value as friends.
• What can a woman do as well as a man ? a little song, added the evening before what should have been a most HERstoric Election Day, ie 2016.
• The Web Weaver's Song (reversal on a folk song) with MIDI added
• We (dog lovers) Will All Go Together When We Go (song about Total Nuclear Annihilation, based on the Tom Lehrer classic "We Will All Go Together WhenWe Go". WARNING : may offend most people's sensibilities!) MIDI added.
• We Will All Go More Slowly When We Go, an update to Tom Lehrer's "We Will All Go Together When We Go" (contemplating global nuclear annihilation). I now contemplate a slower extinction from global eco-catastrophe.
• Wheel of Fortune song
• Where Have All the Flowers Gone, Redux, a new look at an old classic.

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• songs by others
• For Mom, Between Worlds, written by my brother Mark as our mother was peacefully dying.
• "O Chromosomes", a song by G Ledyard Stebbins, late great evolutionary genetcist. I loved his Evolution class which I took as an undergraduate.
• Weep with the Willow, , a song by Janet Jones, circa 1963, then freshman at U C Davis. I have no idea how to contact her.
• Christmas inspried verses by various authors (I wonder why there are no dog themed Hanukkah verses)
• The Day Before Christmas (puppies and kittens wreck havoc)
• The Night Before Christmas (St Nick has dog neglecters on his Naughty Not Nice list)
• The Day After Christmas (not really about dogs)
• A Rescue Dog's Christmas (actually the shelter dog's Christmas eve plea to be rescued, and the shelter's plea for better funding so they can save more lives)
• The Christmas Quote (suffering animals, who need the gift of life.)

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